Monday, December 5, 2011

Starting a blog, Self-deprecation and the Snort Laugh

Without any other great literary talent, I at least offer up my skills at alliteration.

On the heels of most respected Internet pundits declaring that "blogging is dead," I, in my typical fashion am starting a blog.  Never one to pass up an opportunity to be a "day late and a dollar short," I'm hoping to jump on this bandwagon well after its heyday, just as I have basically every other trend that I actually ended up noticing (which hasn't been most of them.) 

This makes me think of another trend: zippers on the bottoms of jeans.  These were first popular in the 80's, during which time I had the misfortune of being a kid and eventual preteen.  Being the basically oblivious geek that I was, I didn't have any jeans with zippers on the bottoms....until....I came home in hysterics one day, having been beaten up by a group of girls on the playground.  Picture it: me huddled in some hidden corner of the schoolyard with my Chronicles of Narnia book  (I told you. GEEK.)  They came upon me like a flock of angry birds straight out of Alfred Hitchcock...or, well...Angry Birds...anyway.  The one thing I was able to decipher from their jeers was that my clothing was out of style.  So, my Mom took me to the local girls boutique and bought me some "stylish" clothes.  The next day, I self-consciously entered the classroom in one of my new outfits, which included zipper-bottom jeans.  As soon as girlishly possible, on of my abusers made a whole-room declaration, "Look, everybody!  She got new clothes!  And she's *trying* to be in style!"  General mayhem ensued until the teacher quieted the room.  And for the first time in my life, I remember thinking, "I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't."  It was a pivotal moment in coming to grips with my inability to hack it in the popularity meat market.

Of course, zipper-bottom jeans are totally again on my mind now, since they are all "back."  And stuff.  Which throws me into all kinds of PTSD.  But that's another story for another blog post.  It's still way too early for me to get a pair.  Again.  Since I only subscribe to trends once they aren't trendy anymore.  And I think they're still trendy, right?  After all, I'm still easing into the skinny jeans trend.  For the love of dimpled thighs and muffin top, I'm having trouble finding a pair that look right, even with a ton of Lycra in there.

So, here I am 25 years after the playground incident, all dimple-thighed and muffin-topped, and I find myself in the place of shame again, after my marriage of seven years has fallen apart.  Someone may as well stand up and shout, "Look at her!  Four kids later!"  Yes, I said four. Including two expensive, highly contested domestic adoptions.  Yeah, major screw-up with the whole marriage-disintegrated-thing.  Again, I'm a day late and a dollar short, or, in the words of my father, "the last to know and the most surprised" that my whole life fell apart.

But not quite.  Which is part of why I've been drawn to blogs.  Because although I don't understand why this has happened, all I have to do is look at my four beautiful children to know that I have so much to be immeasurably grateful for.  And I have a story to tell.  I just don't know how it's all going to end.  But I do know that it's filled with blessings.  Four of them are easy to spot.  Easy to be thankful for.  The others, I'm hoping to see more clearly by writing about them.  And reading other peoples' stories too.  Which led me to look for others out there like me.

And after scouring the Internet for over a month, I've discovered an appalling lack of blogs written by single parents.  Yes, there is a plethora of information out there *for* single moms, for which I ought to be thoroughly grateful.  But there aren't many single mom blogs.  At least, I haven't found them yet.  Of course, this may very well elicit a "Duh!" from you, owing to the relatively accurate stereotype that us single moms don't have time to nurse a blog.  

However, I'd like to counter the "no time to blog" thought with a different one.  We single moms are *ideal* bloggers: we have no social life, no one to talk to after 9:00 pm, way too many thoughts swirling around in our heads, but too few adults to talk with them about, especially since all those closest to us are exhausted from hearing our same tirades over and over and over...So, we may as well put our thoughts down for no one to read, but at least get them off our chest.  Even if gravity has hit the chest area. 

So, I found inspiration across the web from a few great single parent blogs, as well as a hundred others that I wish existed but don't.  The result?  This lil' ole blog-o-mine.  Because we single parents have a song to sing too, dammit.  Even if we do it all alone at 9:00 pm in zipperless-bottom Lycra-enriched jeans.  Happy birthday baby blog.  May you live long and prosper.  (Vulcan hand sign optional.)

Anyone else remember these?

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