Today, we're doing uplifting.
Well, the night before Thanksgiving, I was playing a round of my most favorite game. Some of you know it. It's called "Stare at the Ceiling at Three A.M. and Wonder How You Got Into This Bloody Mess." Sometimes I refer to it as "SCATAWHYGITBM" for short. It's entertaining and all, but it gets old after a while. Finally I started praying, since prayer is right up there on my list with "SCATAWHYGITBM."
Anyone else out there struggle with prioritizing prayer? Is anyone else even out there?? Ahem.
Anyway, as I was talking to God, I found myself telling Him, "Yeah, God, I know you love me. I mean, I've kinda known it my whole life. I've seen it clearly in the past, and I can read about it in the Bible. But.....it would be really nice to just.....sorta.....hear from you again about that; to hear again that you love me. What I'm trying to say, God, is that I could really use some proof right now."
And that was basically how God and I wrapped up the night. I managed to get to sleep after that, and by morning, the only reminders of my little chat with the Almighty were the bags under my eyes. Oh wait, those are there every day. So, I didn't have any reminders.
Alright. Coming back to my Al-Anon meetings. I got up and went to one that morning. I try to go every Thursday. Yes, I even went on Thanksgiving because I'm
Then, at the conclusion of the meeting, when we were all feeling warm and fuzzy, the group leader suddenly changed directions with a comment that absolutely floored me. She said,
"Okay. Now, I want each and every one of you to think of all those things on your list that you are thankful for. Right now." I easily envisioned my four beautiful children, my extended family and friends, my home, and a myriad of other blessings.
"Now say to yourself," she continued, "Every single one of those is proof that my Higher Power (God!) loves me!"
The memory of my three a.m. prayer came flooding back over me. Those were the exact words I'd used: "God, can you show me some proof that you love me?" It had been just a few short hours earlier! I had begged God for proof, and there it was in black and white. He did, indeed love me. And all the blessings in my life were the proof. Why hadn't I seen it before? God had answered my prayer.
Since Thanksgiving, it's been just a little easier for me to say, "Okay, God. I'm gonna trust you here, because I've got proof that you love me. Thanks for giving me that, in the midst of a tough time."
Frankly, I'm just amazed that God answered the pitiful prayer of a girl who didn't even take time out of her day to really talk to Him....just squeezed in a desperate plea between bouts of insomnia. I can't believe He was listening. If He was listening to me, He's definitely listening to you. I couldn't have asked for a kinder, gentler, way for God to start my Advent. It's a different season, when you're waiting for Someone who loves you. I'm putting that on my Gratitude List.